Mind Games

Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we truly believe something and that we've taken it to heart, when in all actuality, it's never made it past our heads. It's a protection mechanism because if we actually, truly took something to heart, it would mean we would have to change, to shift, to admit fault or failure, to be vulnerable, to surrender. When God speaks to us, when He asks us to become more like Him, to surrender, it's hard. It's really stinkin' hard. So many times I think "yeah, I've surrendered," when the truth is that I've accepted and understood it mentally, but I'm still holding onto 90% of the hard to change, ingrained part of myself. The core of who I am. True surrender involves vulnerability to the core ourselves, sacrifice of habits and comfort zones, and acceptance of change. To be completely honest, I can't say that I have ever truly, completely, wholly surrendered before. There have been small moments of it, but on the whole, I'm still stuck in the intellectual part. As humans, we naturally shun vulnerability, it's our nature. But until we become truly vulnerable, truly surrendered, and truly self-abandoned, we can't fully experience God's immense greatness. That is something light years easier said than done. As we come up to Christmas, to the New Year, let's keep that in mind and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be molded, to be changed for the better